Text messaging has made sexual harassment ever so much easier, making the harassment even more persistent and constant. No breaks. No safe time.

And while abusive texting is a big part of the problem, it’s not the only technology abusers abuse: email, phone, and also (newer) through Facebook and other social networking sites.

But there is an upside with the technology as well. It offers strong evidence of the abuse and is being used in courts to assist in conviction.

More important, it can be used for good as well as ill, as reported in a Strib story published on the same day—the story of a woman who used text messaging to call for assistance while she was being sexually assaulted and chased around the house.

The article also references the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey data indicating that 9.8% of high school students have experienced dating violence (hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the last 12 months); and 7.4% report being physically forced to have sexual intercourse.

Closer to home, the Minnesota Student Survey (we don’t participate in the YRBSS) has similar rates, using somewhat broader definitions of violence.

As you can see—the likelihood of both dating and sexual violence increases with age (no surprise there) and girls are about twice as likely to experience dating violence and sexual violence compared to boys.

What’s to be done?

• Educate yourself about violence prevention.
• Be aware of the warning signs.
• If you’re a parent, make sure your children know the warning signs.
• Don’t be silent about the issue.
• Learn more.

At a broader level, find out about United Way’s work to end domestic violence.

Dave Ellis, United Way Impact Manager, Domestic Violence

Today’s blog post is an interview with Dave Ellis, our Domestic Violence Impact Manager who was also involved in PeaceJam over the weekend.

Liz: What is PeaceJam?

Dave: PeaceJam is a Youth Leadership program of youthrive—the Upper Midwest Affiliate of PeaceJam International. PeaceJam engages youth leaders from Minnesota, Wisconsin, North Dakota, South Dakota and Iowa with a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate that the youth have studied using the PeaceJam curriculum. Each featured Laureate focuses on a specific theme relating to an important global issue. The event combines learning sessions on peace building in schools and communities, discussions with Nobel Peace Prize Laureates, and a host of hands-on service-learning activities in a selected community. At the PeaceJam conference, participants talk about service-learning projects that they have carried out in their local communities.

The theme this year was Healing Communities Torn by Racism and Violence.

Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Rigoberta Menchu Tum of Guatemala

There were 600 youth involved, completing more than 15 service projects over the weekend in the host community of South Minneapolis. They also presented more than 50 projects they had worked on in their local communities to featured Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Rigoberta Menchu Tum from Guatemala. The service projects represented all 10 of Greater Twin Cities United Way’s goal areas as well as Diversity and Inclusion.

Liz: When does it happen?

Dave: PeaceJam is a year-round program that begins in November with PeaceJam Slam, hits its midpoint in the spring with PeaceJam Conference, and wraps up in the fall at the Slam.

Liz: Where does it happen?

Dave: It happens at the University of Minnesota and in the community. Programming at the U of M includes family groups and service-learning projects.

Liz: What were you most pleased with from this year’s event?

Dave: There is a fantastic mural on the corner of 25^th Street and Chicago Ave. S. that was done by the youth.

Peace Jam mural at 25th St. and Chicago Ave. in Minneapolis

Liz: What surprised you?

Dave: That an agency with only two paid staff can pull of an event like this every year for the past 12 years (with many volunteers). The conference this year was twice as large as previous PeaceJams.

Dave Ellis, United Way Impact Manager, Domestic Violence

All I remember that morning in July, was waking up in complete darkness to cries for help. “Where is she?” a young voice called out, over and over. I jumped up and looked at the clock — 3:00 a.m. What’s going on, I thought. Peering outside, I saw a young girl pacing in the rain outside my window.

I quickly threw on my robe and ran outside. When the young girl saw me, she backed up and repeated again, “Where is she? My mom is missing,” she said. “There’s blood on the back door and a window is broken.”

By now neighbors had gathered, and stood, staring at us in the rain—at me in my bathrobe and the young girl who, I’ve since learned, lived across the street.

She was sobbing now, saying again her mother was missing. “Mom’s boyfriend came to visit, but now she’s gone. And there’s blood on the door, everywhere.”

My next door neighbor, Deborah, stepped forward to console the young girl. I called police.  We all waited in the rain for them to arrive while the young child continued to cry.

The police came and took her away. A few days later I heard that they called the incident a “domestic” and that the girl’s mother was in the hospital where the boyfriend had dropped her off. The mother’s story? No harm was done to her by the boyfriend. She had slipped and cut herself and miraculously, he “showed up” soon after, and drove her to the hospital.

This terrible incident happened almost 15 years ago. Since then I’ve worked all my life to prevent these incidents from happening to more women and children. For this is only one of countless other violent incidents I’ve heard about.

Fast forward to this past week—a roller coaster ride of bad news and some good news that efforts are being made to stop the violence:

Bad news:

• A Mankato woman was shot by her ex-husband, in the face, 3 times, in her car, in a parking lot, in front of their 3 children.  He takes another vehicle and leads police on a chase.
•  A woman is stabbed 70 times by her husband. Three of their children watch in horror.  He says she was driving him crazy. That much seems obvious—stabbing someone that many times can only reflect the level of rage he had must have felt at the time. But the larger question remains about what the impact will be on these children in their future without a mom or dad.  The oldest daughter, Brittany, called 9-1-1 while the 13-year-old took the knife and ran into the yard.

Some good news that will hopefully put an end to this violence:

• In early April, 2010, the City of St. Paul unveiled its Blueprint for Safety—An Interagency Response to Domestic Violence Crimes.  This is St. Paul’s unique collaborative response to domestic violence.
•  On April 7, 2010, Hennepin County introduced its Co-Parenting Courts to respond to concerns that unmarried parents need to have the same rights as married couples who are divorcing.

United Way and its partners are working on responses to these issues of domestic violence.  We know that children who witness these violent incidents are the unintended victims—they suffer from lasting physical and emotional harm. 

A recent national survey found that more than 60% of children have been exposed to violence, either directly or indirectly.

In Brittany’s words to the media after watching her father stab her mother, “I think this is a dream,” she said. “It don’t seem real to me.”  All too often, it seems like a dream.  When will we all wake up from the nightmare?

In addition to information about the prevalence of domestic violence (approximately 75,000 victims in Minnesota each year), the report has information about what kinds of actions victims take after experiencing domestic violence:

•  41% end the relationship (this was much higher than I had expected!)
• 36% got help from family, friends, or neighbors
• About one-third (32%) reported they didn’t take any action in response to the violence

Most victims do not report domestic violence to the police, most often because they consider it a private matter (33%). But 15% didn’t report because they believe the police wouldn’t do anything, and 16% were afraid that the abuse would get worse if they called. And a small but sadly significant 3% didn’t report because they thought the abuse was their fault.

Overall, 27% of the women surveyed reported they had experienced domestic violence at some point in their lifetime. That’s more than 1 in 4 women! Men are also victims of domestic violence, though not as frequently: 7% (or 1 in 14) men reported experiencing domestic violence at some point in their lifetime.

The beautiful cover art was donated by author and artist Angela Hayden, herself a survivor of domestic abuse.